Edinburgh Fringe

Yes, this is from an office email, but some of them are funny. Excerpts from the Edinburgh Fringe 2005:

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

- Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

- Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon

The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be sh*tting herself.

- Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening ...Self-raising?"

- Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face.

- Jeremy Limb, at the Trap

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

- Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

- Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms

Hey - you want to feel really handsome? Go shopping at Asda.

- Brendon Burns at the Pleasance

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

- Chris Addison at the Pleasance

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

- Milton Jones at the Underbelly.