John Fashanu in a Pickle

John Fashanu, or 'Fash' as he has assuredly re-branded himself in recent years, is an unlikely orator. But the man is an engaging and confident broadcaster - at least it seemed that way as he glistened like a diamond nestling in a mound of turnip peelings on five's 'Secrets of the Fitness Video' (or some similarly named garbage) which the channel broadcast twice last week (the BBC must be quaking in their boots with such rival public service broadcasting as this).

Fash, if I can call him that, came up with the following pearl of wisdom, which isn't the 'logical nonsense' that Anthony has referred to, but rather an example of how you can all-too easily end up down a metaphorical cul-de-sac, especially when you've got a TV camera in front of you. Apologies if you 'had to be there', but for me, this was one of the funniest things I've heard this year:

"If you went into a supermarket and bought a can of baked beans, you'd expect there to be baked beans inside it, not pickled onions. But the trouble with these fitness videos is that a lot of them have pickled onions inside them".

Is it me, or did Fash get the equation of his metaphor wrong? Presuming X is a baked bean and Y is a pickled onion, you can't have X as a fitness video and Y as a pickled onion as well - you need to find a new X. Still, don't be disheartened Fash - you're welcome on my screen any time. Just don't venture off button five.

Comments

[AJE]

Awooga to that, Andrew!

[Thomas Conolly]

Doesn't Kris Akabusi say that?

I rather like the idea of buying a fitness video and finding pickled onions inside. They're much more fun, and if they're in a jar you can work up a sweat getting the top off!

[AJE]

Kris Akabusi rolls his arm, as if he's punching the air in a continuous loop. John Fashanu shouts awooga.

Different actions, different needs

[Andrew Mellor]

Thanks for clearing that up - I had no idea what you meant by Awooga! And whilst I'm on, I should apologies to five (that's what you have to call Channel Five now) for suggesting their output is crap - last night they screened the first of a documentary series about Mozart which was very pleasing and made good use of live performances. It's on for the next two consecutive Tuesdays. It reminded me that Mozart doesn't have to be boring. Gimme five!

[PMSL]

Fash? Akabusi? Same page shocker? LMAO..