Carrot to play Lear

A carrot will take the title role in a groundbreaking new production of Shakespeare's King Lear, it was announced today. Arts Council England, in association with the FauxArtsNOW initiative, will mount the project in response to the success of other recent collaborations including the well-documented 'silent' readings of the works of John Keats and a production of Wagner's epic Ring Cycle in a Wolverhampton underpass last year.

'This is the first time a vegetable has taken on the role of Lear and we are justly proud that we are behind it' said Maximilliam Wagstaff, head of New Thinking and Creative Dimensional Fusions at the Arts Council. But there has been criticism from certain factions - notably the acting community and the arts press, who have predicted gloom for the project which begins rehearsal this month and premieres in August. 'We are aware of some criticism' added Wagstaff, saying 'in the twenty-first century we need to open our minds as to just how the great masterpieces of the past can be re-discovered and made more accessible. If that means re-thinking who we cast in significant roles then so be it.'

The decision to cast a carrot - as yet unnamed by ACE and FAN - has reignited the many casting debates which have surrounded Shakesperean productions in recent decades. Stella Dunce, Creative Director of FauxArtsNOW cites prejudices in the casting of another Shakespeare classic, Otello, as an element of the inspiration behind the idea: 'So many commentators are willing to question casting decisions on the basis of colour - often asking why a white actor should be chosen to play Otello when there's a wealth of suitably talented black actors. I was interested in taking it a step further - why shouldn't an orange actor take on the role of Lear?' Her opinons were subsequently trounced by known right-wing columnist Tony Gunn, who claimed that Lear could only be effectively played by a white, elderly aristocratic Englishman who had experience of the royal household in Shakespeare's day - adding 'no other performer could possibly portray a believable Lear'.

There's understandable delight from the carrot community at the decision. Duncan Longneck of pressure group ANC (Action Now for Carrots) pointed to regeneration, creative opportunities and better community relations as some possible side effects of the production, which will be directed by veteran RSC producer Frank Frank. 'Carrots are underepresented in senior management, in government and in the creative industries' said Longstaff. 'I don't think it's in any way patronising to believe carrots will better enjoy a production of King Lear if they can see that it involves one of their own in a pivotal role. How else would they engage? Carrots don't know Shakespeare from their own arseholes' he added. Director Frank Frank dismissed claims that a carrot's inability to speak, recollect lines or empathise in a basic way with Shakespeare's character may affect its performance as 'nonsense'.

The production, which will also feature three guinea-foul, Brian Blessed and a soundtrack by former Wings guitarist Hank Marvin (orchestrated by Harrison Birtwistle), is sponsored by Tesco and opens at the Assembly Shaft Theatre in London on August 7.

Comments

[JRWB]

Ah, I remember the meaningfully titled FauxArtsNOW's production of Ibsen's marvellous 'play for voices' Peer Gynt a few years ago, staged entirely by an illiterate lesbian mute. It was a very *brave* performance. I thought it was wonderful that they were bringing the arts to such a sadly overlooked section of the community. I’m not certain whether there were any illiterate lesbian mutes in the audience the night I was there, but if there were, I’m sure they rushed out straight afterwards to tell their friends.

[TC]

Brian BLESSED!!!! It's destined to failure from the start with that bloody vagabond.

[TC]

...and what's with the carrot - schtick. Boom boom.

[dearieme]

Very good indeed. But beware the Celery Liberation Front.

[Julie Burchill]

Is this for real?

[tc]

What's the matter Julie, can't imagine a carrot actually acheiving anything? But this is all too true of many people, many small minded folk. I remember a carrot at school who was teased because it couldn't do the long jump. Hitler notoriously refered to the carrot as the 'Jews potato' and refused to have it served in the bunker. I won't even tell you what the Japanese do to them.

Can't you here the cries of the carrots? It's time someone amplified them.

[Andrew Mellor]

What's most telling about this is that it's those friends and colleagues of mine who work in the arts who have said, 'is that really happening? I thought I read about it somewhere else too...'