England manager Sven Goran Eriksson shocked everyone by including 17 year old Theo Walcott in his provisional squad for this summers World Cup finals. I've never seen the kid play, so can't comment on his ability. But neither's Sven - Walcott has never played a Premiership match and is phenomenally underexperienced.
But this is irrelevent, since he wasn't picked for footballing reasons. Sven's played the media exceptionally well by responding to the news that Wayne Rooney will almost certainly miss the finals, by calling up the "new" Rooney. Just when the nation was about to commit collective suicide about the loss of Rooney, Sven storms in with a brand new wonderkid for the irrational and senseless to rally behind.
The tabloids have pounced all over it, and now the inevitable has happened - his girlfriend is out in the open and the media frenzy can really kick-off. Melanie Slade was at White Hart Lane with other footballer's girlfriends to "step into the spotlight in aid of cancer" (according to BBC News, but surely we shouldn't be "aiding" cancer...). ITV News had a big feature on her this lunchtime, and The Sun show paperazzi pictures very similar to those of Colleen when she first appeared. Already The Guardian tells us that:
Melanie Slade, 17, issued a joint statement with the Walcott family asking that they be left alone, just hours after she appeared at a charity publicity event [I bet the editor loved adding that last bit, the smug twat].
Give it two weeks before ITV News is "investigating" the media intrusion, continuing their odd defintion of "the media" so that it doesn't include them. Bottom line is that Sven's pulled a masterstroke to rejuvenate our hopes going into the World Cup, and is aided and abetted by a degenerate press that has put this unfortunate girl into a position of having to choose between a life of dignity and a life as a footballers wife....
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